Young couples and newlyweds are faced with an incredible amount of pressure from family, friends, and the social norms of their community. The resounding mantra being, “hurry up and start a family already.” It is as if, just because you found that perfect person for you, the next most important thing on your mind should be having babies with them. The last thing you’ll probably hear from someone are reasons why a young couple should travel before having a baby!
So, before you and partner start tag teaming diaper duty, we encourage and challenge you to go travel together. Make it a priority early in your relationship to go explore the world a little with each other, before the kids. The time you spend traveling together will be the most beneficial investment you make in your relationship and your future!
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In our humble opinion, here are…
11 reasons we think couples should consider traveling before having a baby.
1.) Avoid Regret and Resentment Later in Life
From what we’ve seen and been told by numerous new parents, the first three to six months of new parenthood is the most challenging time for young couples. This tumultuous time is fraught with inexplicable crying, dizzying amounts of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and inevitable cabin fever.
Imagine for a moment… you and your partner are settling into domestic life with your new baby, struggling together through those challenges mentioned and others not. It’s all too easy to start feeling the blues during a time you thought would be more exciting. The blues can lead to some bouts of depression and, ultimately, thoughts of regret; over the things that you didn’t do before having this baby. Now it seems EVERYTHING has changed and you’ll have to put some dreams on hold for now.
This regret can sometimes lead to another filthy word that begins in R – resentment. Resentment for your partner. Resentment towards anyone you see on social media doing something you’d like to be doing. Resentment in general to your current situation.
Avoiding this possible regret and resentment is a very compelling reason for couples to travel before having a baby!
2.) You Want to Inspire Your Kids… Not Live Through Them
All good parents hope to be an inspiration to their children. If you follow your passions and chase your dreams before they become a part of your life – your story will be what inspires them to do the same with theirs.
If you and your partner don’t travel as a couple before having a baby, then later in life, whether you mean to or not, there will be moments where you influence decisions in your kid’s life as a means to live vicariously through them. I don’t mean to say that influencing your children’s choices is always a bad thing, but steering them in a direction or towards something you always wanted for yourself can stifle their individuality.
Build the foundation for the person you want to be and go see the things you want to see before having kids. That way, when they are old enough and ready to step out and see the world, you will get enjoyment not out of what they do or where they go, but rather by seeing the wonder within them.
3.) Become Strong Teammates
Traveling together as a couple before having kids will present you and your partner with countless problems to solve and challenges to conquer together. The obstacles you encounter while traveling will shine a light on each of your strengths and leave nowhere for weaknesses to hide. With every issue faced you’ll learn how to work together… as a team! By knowing you can rely on each other for different things in different situations, you’ll build an unshakable trust to aid your relationship later in life when you take on the BIG challenges, like kids!
4.) It is Still Acceptable to be Selfish
Before you bring kids into your life, it is acceptable to be a little selfish. Once the kids come, though, that changes. No more is it just about you, your partner, and the incredible things you want to do together. Now, you have these beautiful little people looking to you and depending on you for everything. Your own selfish wants and desires take a backseat when it comes to raising your kids. For the most part, your life is about them, and you’re lucky to carve out even small amounts of time for you and partner together.
One of the reasons couples should travel before having a baby is that it gives you the luxury to be selfish about your travels. You virtually have no restrictions on the places you can go to. Your compass is guided simply by the magnetism of your own desire: unapologetic guilt-free selfish freedom.
5.) There is Only Each Other to Worry About
While traveling, you are solely responsible for your own safety and security. Couples traveling before starting a family have only each other to look out for. Adding another person who depends on you into that mix substantially ups your responsibility! Not only just looking out for them, but also for yourself, because you are no good to them if something happens to you.
There is no room to be reckless or careless with your own wellbeing. For instance, while in Africa, Jessica and I jumped tandem off the Victoria Falls bridge. Before having kids, that kind of risk is acceptable. But, if we had children, there is NO WAY we would have jumped off that bridge together! It simply isn’t worth the risk.
6.) Embrace Spontaneity
To be spontaneous is to act as a result of a sudden impulse and without any premeditation. Acting spontaneously is thrilling and ignites a fire of excitement in all of us. One of the greatest reasons to travel as a couple before having a baby is that you still can be spontaneous together. When it is just you and your partner, no plans should be uncompromising. You are free to be flexible. If something new and exciting crosses your path, taking you in a direction you hadn’t intended, that’s no problem!
Once you and your partner decide to start a family, this ability to be spontaneous will diminish if not altogether be put on hold. Take advantage of the time you have together before kids and say YES to an unexpected journey. Travel has a way of opening you up to new things you never knew were possible. Doing it at a time when you are flexible enough to change or respond to the whims of your desires is of significant importance.
7.) Strengthen Your Bond
The shared experience of traveling as a couple will act as cement and form a strong relationship bond between you and your partner. This bond will create a foundation for living a joyful life and help you to build out an even more awesome future together! Once you travel together and take on the world, you’ll feel like there is nothing you couldn’t do together.
The moments of joy you share traveling together will forge memories you two will cherish long into the future. There will be moments where you are reminded of something from your travels, and only your partner will understand. Those shared moments you have together is like the sacred glue for a happy couple.
8.) The Opportunity to Meet New People
Another reason to travel as a couple, before having a baby, is that it creates more circumstances for chance social interactions with locals or other travelers. These moments are some of our favorites from traveling together. Meeting new exciting people from all over the planet, swapping stories, sharing interests, and potentially building friendships is something that will serve to broaden your cultural horizons and reveal that we aren’t that different after all.
There is also something about us that is more receptive, open, and impressionable before we have children. It is as if, once we start a family, we then build protective walls to shield our loved ones and heavily screen anyone who tries to get in. Before you place the first stones of the wall, go travel and meet some new interesting people – you never who you might meet and how that meeting could change the course of your life.
9.) Not All Places are Family-Friendly
There are many places in the world perfect for family trips, and some cater specifically to the kids. But, for every one family-friendly destination, there are probably ten not so family-friendly. These destinations are some of the most romantic and jaw-droppingly beautiful places you and your partner can see together before having a baby!
Once you have children, you’ll have plenty of time for vacations to all those family-friendly destinations. Go now though to see those private little corners of paradise, snowy mountain tops, and blistering deserts.
10.) It is Cheaper
There are several obvious reasons why it’s less expensive for couples to travel before having kids. However, there are some less obvious reasons as well.
For one, your options for acceptable means of transportation while traveling with kids can be limited. Some of the more cost-effective means of travel by minibus or even overnight buses are much less family-friendly. If you are traveling with children, you will likely be prioritizing safety, comfort, and convenience, all of which will come at a premium cost.
Besides your transportation, your food costs will be higher as well. Obviously, because you have one more mouth to feed, but also because kids are usually fussy eaters. Where you and your partner may be willing to try the local street foods and eat for a fraction of the cost of a touristy restaurant, it’s unlikely kids will have the same explorative palate.
When it’s just you and your partner, you will have far more options to choose from when it comes to your accommodations. For only one night for the two of you, you might be okay with staying in a hostile, but for a family that will be unlikely. Families traveling together usually need more space and privacy, both of which will cost more when traveling.
11.) Travel Light
When it’s just the two of you traveling, you’ll quickly realize the difference between the things you need and the things you really don’t. The more times you lift and carry your bag, the more you come to realize the real weight of things and how much this weight can be a hindrance. Adults traveling need very little. Maybe a change of shoes, a couple of outfits, and some personal hygiene items – that’s really it!
Kids, on the other hand, come with a lot of baggage. Think about any family you’ve ever seen traveling or even leaving there home for a weekend outing. The parents need very little, but all the things that the kids require is a back-breaking load! Now consider having to carry not only your weight of stuff around but the children as well. Farewell, the days of traveling lightly!
The lighter you travel, the further you’ll go, and the more you’ll see.
“We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel next, to find ourselves.”
-Pico Iyer
The time you share with your partner before starting a family is precious and fleeting. It’s just you and them against the world. Maximize this time together and spend it doing awesome things! Once you finally decide to start a family together, you will be very grateful you did.
Here’s to many miles and happy smiles together!
Need some help figuring out where to start?
Check out our guide to setting travel resolutions.
